Certainty

Unfortunately it seems that nothing is certain in life except for the love of God. It is always there during the day, at the end of the day, and in the morning no matter what kind of morning it is. We all must choose in what capacity we want to experience that love. Where do we want to be in our lives. Do we enjoy what we are doing? Are we afraid to embrace the choices we have made? Do we feel we have made the wrong choices? Sometimes I wonder if it would have been easier to live life had I decided to let my mind go by the wayside, had I let my passions govern me, had I not tried so hard to live the life that now makes me wonder if I shall ever have peace. I can so relate with San Manuel Bueno, Martir, though I am nothing compared to his piety. He converted his whole village, but in his heart never believed. I believe, but I can convert no one because my heart is not there. I have difficulty explaining it, but I hope you begin to see what my struggle is from day to day. God will be there to help me through. Sometimes I think these are just incidents of whining, but then I realize that they are things that maybe no one ever talks about, and I am called to share them. I love sharing these things because I have no shame, I want you to see my struggles and maybe learn something from them. In this moment I am not sure where to go except straight ahead. I recall the verse from the Hispanic, charismatic group in Brooklyn, "keep God in your heart, your eyes on the prize, and then run for it without looking back!" This I will try to do, please share your own insights as well. I will keep you all in my prayers.

Peace.