Humility

One of the Jesus' most important teachings, and yet at the same time one of the most difficult virtues to achieve. It seems the more we see of this life and this world, the harder it is to accomplish such a simply understood virtue. I question the goodness of working on a cruise ship, because it may have turned me into something I don't want to be. I look around at my friends and family around me, my father couldn't be more proud of me, my mother as well, yet I feel a distance between my brothers and me. My friends laugh not as readily at my jokes, I take control of all situations of which I am a part, and if things don't go off as planned I am frustrated and this can even ruin an afternoon, evening, or a whole vacation. When on the ship I had a schedule to keep, I kept it, still had fun in the meantime, and was well rewarded for my work. I understand the importance of punctuality, hard, yet smart work, and a perpetual smile despite the frustrations that drove me to places I did not always enjoy.

I miss the days of clear-headed thinking. I sometimes think about the reality of the spiritual battle in this world, and wonder whether the evil one clouds my thoughts when I finally get on the right track. When in New York, I was extremely devout, my thoughts were clear, and yet I consigned myself to a growing relativism that attacks all of us constantly in this world of temptation.

I think I now understand better than ever the value of a child-like faith. Of believing without needing to know all the reasons why. Surely this theological search is fruitful for fortifying our beliefs, and yet why do we fortify our beliefs? We desire to help others see the truth, which is admirable, but at the same time, I believe the basic faith in God, His love for us and desire that we spend eternity with Him is what is most important.

It is often the most trivial situations that test us the most. I still cannot figure out many of my friends. But it is this attempt, or at the very least the desire to understand one another that deepens our relationships. But there are very few people with whom we just connect, know they understand the world works, and that they understand us. Thus, friendship takes this journey feel. There are a couple of people in my life who have found this type of friendship, and in my heart I am so happy for them, especially as the relationship developed at a critical point in both of their lives and they have been able to help one another out. For the rest of us, we stumble around trying to figure out who our friends are, some out of a group of people that they have hung out with for years; others out of a couple of buddies whom they never really understood.

Though this may make no sense, it is soothing to my soul. I hope that you have benefitted from my meditation on friendship, and I think the original title fits this well because it is truly through our own humility that we strengthen the relationships we have. "No greater love is there than this, that one would lay his life down for a friend."

Every Day

Do something every day that scares you, I think we all have a lot to learn from this quote. I think I relish the idea of moving constantly, going from one thing to the next, whether it be socially, financially, in business, or in personal matters. In a nutshell, I have now gone from studying engineering to studying Spanish at Iowa State, to a study abroad in Peru, to studying and living in New York City, to working and living on a cruise ship that sailed from the Caribbean to the Mediterranean, to an airport in Frankfurt, Germany, and finally back home to where I now sit at the Octane in Rockford, IL. The last time I talked about these things I described myself as feeling "on top of the world". In some ways I thought this flowed from my working on a cruise ship, but I now realize that the position there was only a gateway to fully realizing my true personality, which can find a place anywhere it goes. I have now lived in Rockford for a little over a month, and without what one might call a steady job I have worked almost every day and have successfully provided for myself in most capacities. Yet as my buddy Mike told me the other day, we could up and leave tomorrow, be in South Africa, swim with sharks, and then maybe make a trip through Africa, and ultimately never come back. The world is so small now in the sense of being able to traverse it, and yet so vast in terms of how much there is to see.

I cannot believe how completely the Lord has blessed me in terms of travel and life experience. I used to be bored, but He has provided more than adequate inspiration to live and live to the fullest. And so I urge you, be fully alive!!! Live, and do not worry, do not fear, but live beyond your fears. Never let them catch up to you because you confront and overcome them so readily.

This is what God truly wants for us. I used to think--and still believe in many ways--that I am a chameleon, capable of taking on any role or social situation and coming out on top. Conquering whatever challenges may confront me along the way. I have realized though, that we all are, some of us simply realize it more than others. With self-confidence and hope we can overcome any obstacle and literally do whatever we desire.

I want now to put in some profound quote, but I have learned that quotes only take on meaning after you have lived them. We can say anything, but it does not possess the same power until we live it. So in this way, read, learn, observe, but most of all live, and then let the quotes catch up to you. We can only live who we are, and that person should not be limited by any quotes or rules that do not suit him or her. Fulfill your dreams, love others, love God most of all, and your heart will never go empty!!!