A Journey through my thoughts

What makes for a life well lived? Well, society would tell us that we need to get a career, then move up until we are making six figures a year, have a car that no one else can buy, buy food that costs six times what it's worth, have 1.5 kids, a wife or husband that of course will always adore you, and a house that is ten times larger than you actually need. And these, of their own accord, will bring happiness. As Christians we seek something different, yet the very fact that that difference is not explicitly defined makes living it all the more difficult. It seems that everything society tells us we need, our faith tells us we need to part ourselves from. I do not say that we do not need money, the need for this has been the obsession of my mind lately as I just got out of school and am currently unemployed, but instead we must earn our living, and live our lives differently. Parting ourselves from worldly pursuits. Not pursuing the ever elusive greenest grass, nor pursuing power for its own sake, but instead following the path that God has put in our lives. Sometimes this idea scares the heck out of me as I think of many ways that people serve the Lord that I absolutely could not do, but that's ok, the Lord has a different plan for me than He has for these others. I believe that in our particular calling in life we will feel most alive. Does this mean that it will be easy to find this calling? Does this mean that pursuing the calling will be easy? Absolutely not. We will encounter and overcome adversity in whatever form it takes, even if it comes from within our very selves, which is so often the case. Why do we fear? We have nothing to lose. Should we lose our lives, we know what God has promised for our time afterward, and giving our lives to Him every day we should have no fear for what will come. Yet where is the balance? How do we live a satisfying life, and still pour all we have into the pursuit we have chosen? Is is possible to do? Last night I was exhausted, and thought that going home would have been the best choice, but instead I went to a Catholic youth group, and it was there that I understood that I am freed from my past. Freed from the sins that I have committed. Any one I ever committed, and any one I have yet to commit, died with Christ on the cross. He removed the sin from my soul. And how do I thank Him? By letting fear overcome my will to succeed, letting doubt take the place of hope in my life? Allowing love to go to only those who love me? I must say no to all of these questions, no matter how hard life gets, no matter how much I doubt, how much I sin, no matter how much fear stands in my way, I will not despair for You are my rock. Take away my past, wash it from my memory, cleanse me from sin, allow me to accept Your mercy and grace, for none is greater than You! None other than You could have done what you did! Your love overcomes all my hate, and all the other darknesses that may fill my heart and mind. Sin will no longer have a hold on me for You are God and You will give me strength to endure my trials, and then when I can take it no longer, You will pick me up and carry me through; just as You will one day carry me home. Yet this not a minute before I accomplish Your will on this earth. To You be the glory always.