Cañon de Colca y Atracciones

This entry has had a long time in coming so I may have lost some thoughts along the way, but here is the clearest view I can give you of the past week or so here in Arequipa. Colca Canyon is quite possibly the most peaceful place I have ever been, such majesty in such profound silence that permeates even the soul if you stop long enough to let it. Sure we had our hike, our guide Carlos who by the way is an incredible individual and has inspired me to become a guide in the future, our group, sightseeing, casualties - poor Emily who had to saw her cast off to be able to come...but none of it is satisfying. I am learning that what I love is truly the country and the people and not the tourism or the fact that I am away from home. I was away in Ames, but never felt such peace in my soul. While sitting on a roca of some size and contemplating life in general, analizing and breaking down my possibilities, I spotted a condor soaring far below me in the canyon and I felt a pang of jealousy at his ability to survive and thrive so easily with skills he has been given and is sure about. For us, it is all such a waiting and guessing game sometimes, frustrating.

Yet I have no doubt that God is with us throughout this journey. Though the Catholic Church down here is tainted by the haunting memories of colonial abuses, I have been able to find much comfort there. The Iglesia de los Capuchinos has a beautiful adoration chapel and mass every day at 6:30am, I could not ask for more. My life here is formed around things that are important to me. There is a group of kids that plays ¨vóley¨everyday, and with my height I am quite a force on the court as well. All these have helped me to draw closer to my own self-realization, and as it draws nearer I recognize more and more that my development will never cease, but as I become more comfortable in my own skin and with where my life is leading I can reach out to others so much more. And I understand now that this is what I truly love. I have helped so many down here through their struggles, and have even had a fruitful conversation with a former Catholic friend of mine. I thank God that we have it the way we do, with a small community of American students within which we can support and learn from one another, all the while experiencing a brand new culture which sits better with some more than others.

Sure I could tell you all about the things I have seen, the condors flying merely 2m above us, the beautiful city of Cabanaconde where there did not seem to be a care in the world beyond being able to provide enough to live, yet these would not well describe the more important development happening within all of us here. For that I say what I do. Poverty, it is relative. From my point of view there is more poverty in the US, maybe not so much materially, but rarely have I seen such a joyful community of people at home as I see everyday here in Alto Cayma where not so long ago, food and water were daily concerns. My friend Michelle made the comment that Maslow´s hierarchy of needs does not account for the fact that the people here, of whom many still seek the lowest needs of the hierarchy are happier than people in the US who have reached a point from which they should be reaching self-actualization. Yet who has actualized more? We are so fortunate where we live. But when we reach that highest point, we seem to create more problems, as if we need them. Yes, we are human and problems will arise no matter what, but where should we go from that highest point? This is the question that has plagued me for so long, and I am living it now daily. Learning how to answer it.

It is interesting however how all of this plays along with interpersonal relationships. How is it that we can look at things logically and understand that the situation could never work out, and yet we cling to it as to something to which we feel entitled. Almost alwas these attractions between us call on us to change our lives, make sacrifices, learn, and most definitely live out the true meaning of love. Yet why, when we can seem to have everything else figured out, do these situations hit us and leave us unsure of everything we have determined. Maybe I am too much of a romantic, all I know is that there are few feelings, few accomplishments in life that compare with the cultivation and living out of a solid and loving relationship between two persons who trust and share with one another. We are drawn to this, seemingly more powerfully than anything else that can compel our lives. Maybe this is why so many charge in blind and end up hurt and alone in the end. What a sacrifice to become a priest, and yet what peace.

New sights, new place, different values, new hopes and dreams, but we are called wherever we go. What will be my answer, I do not yet know. What will be yours?