sleeplessness....

Do you ever find yourself, late at night, unable to sleep and contemplating all the questions and uncertainties in your life. I must admit that it is rare for me, because I am too often running from place to place and never give myself enough rest, such that when I do lay down, I'm out. However today I think that Pepsi this afternoon has brought me to the moment now where it approaches 1am and I cannot do more than shut my eyes and think. I contemplate the last few months and all that has transpired, and how fortunate I am, and we all are in turn that we do not have absolute control over our lives. As much as friends have encouraged me to move beyond repeating maxims, I find myself constantly returning to the idea that all we have to do hear God laugh, is to tell him our plans. Just at the moment that I thought I had given up everything and the summer was to be nothing more than a going home, and a sort of abandonment of what I had wanted to do, I have discovered instead something that I never would have otherwise ever conceived or brought myself into. I am interpreting for a Cuban pastor who has come here to the states upon invitation by a Methodist pastor from here in Ohio, who has after getting to know me, invited me to help him teach a course on the Theology of the Kingdom in Cuba. I will interpret the class as he teaches.

I would never have imagined anything like this. I never would have imagined that I would have the opportunity to go to France over spring break and meet all the blessed people that Mike, Brett, and I encountered there. Prior to this, I never hoped that I would go to El Salvador, but seemingly by chance, one of those who had signed up was unable to go, and I was the alternate. God is always working in our lives, whether or not it is immediately evident. If you are anything like me, then you do not have patience to wait and see what the Lord will do if we would just stop trying to force everything for just a minute. Yes we need to exercise our free will, yes we need to make wise decisions, considering all possible alternatives before acting, but we also need to allow for the will of God in all of these things. It seems that if we leave Him an open window he is able to shine His light through and brighten our lives in a holistic way, much as the sunlight enhances the brilliance of a beautiful home. For we can only do so much in our lives, much as we can with a house, we cannot have as much effect on the weather, the environment, etc. Hence, yes let us build a home or a life that we enjoy living, but let us not forget that God plays an instrumental role in all of this, and that the more opportunities we give Him to act in our lives, perhaps the more fulfilling our lives will be.