Library

Here my thoughts can run wild and my hands can type unbelievably quickly. I enjoy helping others get their things done than I truly enjoy doing my own. In this sense I suppose that I try most to be a Christian and/or Catholic (universal). I love the insights given by editing, given a glimpse into an unfamiliar field. Yesterday I sat in on a presentation on the nature of the breakup of Yugoslavia, about which I previously knew nothing, but that I now could probably could give a general synopsis. There are times when I do not enjoy living and working in academia, but I must admit that the quest for knowledge, especially of how to do things, can at times be quite contagious and even addictive in this environment. More than ever before I am aware that knowledge is power. I can even feel my own inadequacy next to the giants of my field and alongside others in other fields that I encounter on a daily stroll through campus. Nonetheless, and no matter how appealing campus life may seem next to a job working 8-4, 40 hours a week, I can assure you that the work never ends, nor is there any good breaking point at which one can say, "I am done." This concept does not exist here, and so we proceed in the quest of "knowledge", but really should be qualified as book knowledge, for knowledge of some things outside academics is eventually forfeit. Hence it is important to ask as in all things, how important is this to me? That is before one would plunge into and/or return to academia to continue one's education.

Just some thoughts, I hope that you all benefit from my random and crazy musings! Love you all!!!!

Diversion from France....

It seems that wherever I am the matters immediately at hand tend to dominate my mind. I suppose this is how I can be so intensely involved in my friendships wherever I am and then rapidly fail to keep in touch and leave a trail of people behind who have no clue what I am doing now. I try my best, but I don't know how to do it any differently. I love being spontaneous: up and going to both El Salvador and France in these past 5 months; exploring the possibility of relationships and friendships that I never would have tried for under any other circumstances. These are the things that inspire us to live and live more fully, to seek the greater things in life and not get caught up on the small things. Right now I sit at a university typing at a computer that I never could have conceptualized less than a year ago. A full year ago I was serving fast food at a great restaurant in my hometown and reffing basketball, and a year before that I suppose I was still working on the cruise ship. It has been a wild ride, but again I wouldn't want it any other way. This is why then I try all these different things here now at Kent State. I was recently elected Advocacy Chair for the Graduate Student Senate, a position that I ordinarily never would have applied for, but whose duties will teach me again how to work together, how to develop and evaluate grant proposals, and how to manage time between this, my classes, my teaching, and my refereeing.

I am thoroughly convinced that I am crazy, but I could not be more grateful for it. I went for a good 2 hour bike-ride throughout Kent and the surrounding area this afternoon and I feel like a million dollars. I am in the perfect mood to blog because I am writing without thinking, pure stream of consciousness that I can later go back and read and say, "What the heck was I (not) thinking?"

At this point in the evening I have the opportunity to go out with a couple of different groups of people, but I would much rather check in with those I love and care about and go to bed. I plan to write more on France when the inspiration comes, but for the movement, we'll leave it at this: it was a life-changing experience in its every facet, and I look anxiously forward to the world-trip, which will revive again this desire to live and live deliberately, deeply, and fully! Most men lead lives of quiet desperation, but I refuse and will not cave to anything that makes me feel so unnecessarily!!! I will fight desperation with passion and love for life. So help me God!

France - part I

There have been few times in my life like the time that comprised my spring break in France, spent with the best of friends, in one of the most beautiful countries in the world. I realize there is something within me that responds to those that are closest to me; something that comes alive and takes over my heart and soul and entire being. I am completely free when I am with them, and I have them to thank. Mike and Brett, I love you guys completely; you are my friends and brothers, both in Christ and darn well close to blood. Reflecting back on "les trois" in the bed at Jenna's place, all the way through to smoking Cuban cigars along the Champs Elysée, you guys are the greatest. Jenna, what can I say? You are my sister and friend and this trip helped me draw so much closer to you and helped me to realize what an invaluable friend and confidante I have in you. Thank you for convincing Veronique to take us into your tiny little three-bedroom, one-bathroom apartment in Aix-en-Provence, and put up with us for three days and two nights!

For all of you who are reading this, know that France is beautiful and I cannot do it justice with my words here...Marseille is a land of sunshine and green grass and flowers, and where the guy at passport control gives you a sly look, before asking the inevitable, "what are you here to do?" but does not stay for the answer, and instead with the cry, "a girl" takes off running! After this priceless beginning, the trip was an amazing success. Everywhere we went, we encountered endless generosity and ever more deep lessons of God's goodness. Starting in Aix, I dressed up in a toga and attended a costume party/dance at the local engineering school, we discussed some of the harder questions of Catholicism, and then ended by taking a drive through the countryside, lunching at a nice French place in a small town, and then driving through vineyards and chocolateries. Leaving Aix we met up with one of the most generous women I have ever met in the quaint town of Cavaillon. Marie-Jean, one of the holiest living persons I have ever encountered, and also one of the most amazing cooks, told us how much faith she puts in us as the generation to take up the struggle of holding this world together in the time to come. She spoke of her hope for the conversion of all peoples to the one truth. She inspired me as few people ever have, and she said it all in French! She did not speak English with us at all. The beds, the shower, the food, the hospitality, were all the best I have had in a long time. And she gave it all freely, on merit of our friendship with Theresa, a very holy young woman as well of our age.

After a wonderfully relaxing long lunch with Marie-Jean, we visited the Palais des Papes in Avignon, and felt the wonder and the interesting phenomenon of imagining the Roman Catholic church centered out of this French town. This especially after having seen Rome. Our soiree ended in our favorite city of the whole journey, where a wonderful young man named François awaited to put us up in the local rectory where we slept like babies. The next day his family took us into their home and we again experienced the generosity of the French and the glory of God who enabled these two wonderful people to raise five wonderful children, all of whom were extremely compelling in conversation. One of my favorite points to note is that all were welcome at the table, especially the parish priest who sat and ate with the family. It was a beautiful show of love for all, and from these people I learned how much more I have to learn about how to give without counting the cost. May God bless them now and always....

More to come, but I'm off to bed, I hope you have enjoyed thus far...