I don't know what to do with my life, and yet I have a plan. I have so much work to do, and yet none at all. I love my God, and yet only give Him a small portion of the time I am allotted on this earth. My life is one of contradictions, and isn't this in some cases a good sign?
I love a woman, but I cannot have her. I love my family, but hold them in second, maybe third place. I am studying to be a translator, but may not even translate. I desire to travel the world, but hesitate to buy the ticket. I have many friends, but do not devote as much time to them as I should. I believe that certain things in life are wrong, and yet love those who commit these wrongs. I cannot know what is exactly right in life, but I can seek to know and live by the truth.
What do you have for me God? Sometimes I wonder whether I have gone down the wrong path altogether, or have wandered so far from your mercy that my life is a disgrace to you, and I deserve not even to call myself Catholic.
I have much left to live and seek in this life, and with Your help, I can accomplish much for you. But for the moment, I am here, trying to remain in touch with you, seeking Your will for my life, and seeking to love all those who surround me.
1 comment:
You are a deep-thinking, self-effacing man, hoops. Hang in there, man, we'll do that trip to Valencia soon enough and quench the travel lust. Do you want to write a chapter or co-author my travel tips e-book with me? I'm working on it right now, and I could use the insight. I'll tell you more about it over a beer at Christmas break. I'm moving into a new apartment tomorrow, it's gorgeous! You might just have to visit Ukraine before I leave.
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