Humility

One of the Jesus' most important teachings, and yet at the same time one of the most difficult virtues to achieve. It seems the more we see of this life and this world, the harder it is to accomplish such a simply understood virtue. I question the goodness of working on a cruise ship, because it may have turned me into something I don't want to be. I look around at my friends and family around me, my father couldn't be more proud of me, my mother as well, yet I feel a distance between my brothers and me. My friends laugh not as readily at my jokes, I take control of all situations of which I am a part, and if things don't go off as planned I am frustrated and this can even ruin an afternoon, evening, or a whole vacation. When on the ship I had a schedule to keep, I kept it, still had fun in the meantime, and was well rewarded for my work. I understand the importance of punctuality, hard, yet smart work, and a perpetual smile despite the frustrations that drove me to places I did not always enjoy.

I miss the days of clear-headed thinking. I sometimes think about the reality of the spiritual battle in this world, and wonder whether the evil one clouds my thoughts when I finally get on the right track. When in New York, I was extremely devout, my thoughts were clear, and yet I consigned myself to a growing relativism that attacks all of us constantly in this world of temptation.

I think I now understand better than ever the value of a child-like faith. Of believing without needing to know all the reasons why. Surely this theological search is fruitful for fortifying our beliefs, and yet why do we fortify our beliefs? We desire to help others see the truth, which is admirable, but at the same time, I believe the basic faith in God, His love for us and desire that we spend eternity with Him is what is most important.

It is often the most trivial situations that test us the most. I still cannot figure out many of my friends. But it is this attempt, or at the very least the desire to understand one another that deepens our relationships. But there are very few people with whom we just connect, know they understand the world works, and that they understand us. Thus, friendship takes this journey feel. There are a couple of people in my life who have found this type of friendship, and in my heart I am so happy for them, especially as the relationship developed at a critical point in both of their lives and they have been able to help one another out. For the rest of us, we stumble around trying to figure out who our friends are, some out of a group of people that they have hung out with for years; others out of a couple of buddies whom they never really understood.

Though this may make no sense, it is soothing to my soul. I hope that you have benefitted from my meditation on friendship, and I think the original title fits this well because it is truly through our own humility that we strengthen the relationships we have. "No greater love is there than this, that one would lay his life down for a friend."