Every Day is a Battle...and a Blessing

It seems like every morning I get up, I immediately think about what I am going to do for the day, and then nothing ends up as I plan it. Yet at the most important part of the day, I am thinking about everything I will do, the tasks I will accomplish, and social events and fun I will plan. Still, life is a fluid journey, events may end up as I plan them, or they may completely fail, but then if they do not go as I plan are they really failures? Some environments have awoken me to this reality more readily than others, but none more than life here in NYC!

I cite the example that as of Monday of this week, I had no idea what I was going to do outside of Theology on Tap Monday night, classes Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and volunteering at the friary and volleyball Wednesday. Monday, I got up, went to mass at noon, then felt compelled to attend confession that night at 5:30. So I went to my classes that lasted until 4 then went to the church. I happened to recognize the voice of my confessor as a priest with whom I had thought to seek spiritual direction, and so he encouraged me to call later to work something out. Unexpected. I went to Theology on Tap that same night, happened to say hello to a girl for whom it was also the first time. After an incredible discussion led by Father Joseph Koterski on the doctrine of papal infallibility, Molly showed me the Archdiocese of New York office where she worked and encouraged me to get in touch with a friend of hers who works there in order to pursue a job translating into Spanish. Unexpected yet again. After that too, I dropped off a book to my friend Rachel and had a very interesting and life-giving conversation that I don't think either one of us had the energy for, but someone did. Wednesday I went to cook at the Capuchin friary, and got to prepare the pork on my own, I know I'm a freak, but it was a great surprise to be able to have free range over all the cooking equipment and food they have there. Then came those who helped me, or shall I say I helped them cook, and they helped me spiritually. Two women very much involved in their faith, Demaris and Cristina, who after we finished cooking invited me to a holy hour in which I got to attend confession and met a wonderful man by the name of Brother Juniper who inspired me to pray. I had only hoped to cook...but I received so much more. Volleyball too, that day went really well, because someone helped me calm down and realize that it is all for fun. I was so uptight that morning.

Friday...God is so good, I couldn't have expected this in a million years, but my friend Mike recently got promoted to Grand Knight of his council of Columbus at Marquette and so came along with Brett to New Haven CT for this weekend. Last night I went up by train and got to hang out with two of my closest friends at a time when I'm getting sick, maybe a little home and a little literally, to give me the strength to carry on.

God knows exactly what we need, and He gives it to us in abundance, it is just often that we fail to look for it, and thus our days become dull and pointless. Should we begin our days by offering our thanksgiving to Him, and then realizing the gifts he showers upon us throughout the day we should live more full and satisfying lives. Even in the battles, we can see Him shining through to forgive us as the father forgave the prodigal son. We are all His prodigal sons, let us remember to go home.

Unfortunate Realities...

These are things that we often do not want to have to accept, that make life more difficult even when you know you are living your life to the best of your ability and in the holiest way possible, and what is more sad is that it can occur when you are down on your luck and out of touch with your source of strength. People can always take advantage of you, and while we are on this earth, as we are a fallen race, it will happen again and again. Thus how do we deal with this? Respond to the Bible verse that calls us if asked to give our outer garment to then offer our undergarment as well? Is this truly what God desires of us in all situations? I question this for two very strong reasons that have entered my life reality lately, two distinct events that illustrate our need to be prudent in the way that we follow this call of our Lord.

Take first the attack against the World Trade Centers, the attack against the United States, the attack against freedom. These men took advantage of the freedom that is available to us here in this country to take the lives of close to 3,000 people, and shatter the feel of safety that we once had. Never again will we view Afghanistan in the same way, though it was only a small faction of its inhabitants that perpetrated the massacre, never again will we look at the site of the World Trade Centers because it both reminds us of an incredible loss of life, and inspires us to fight for the value of freedom that we here hold so dearly.

Then look at a situation where a friend offers a place to stay for someone who needs it, and this someone has the presence of mind and the means to offer some form of thanks in return yet never does.

Should the friend be allowed to stay?

Should we have let the terrorist attack slide? Because according to the mass media, it all could have been an illusion anyway. No one really saw the plane hit the Pentagon anyway, there is no footage of it occurring. And what does it mean to see anyway, can we really trust our senses? We cannot have any sort of opinion that God forbid might offend someone, or even worse bring us to conflict with another!

I raise this succession of dialogue somewhat in jest of the media, but mainly for the truth that we cannot always turn the other cheek. As the president said in his speech last night and as I firmly believe, these terrorists will stop at nothing to destroy us. If we were to up and walk away from Iraq, these men would not just go home, they will follow us, as says our commander in chief. We have to draw the line at some point. Some things can be forgiven and life can go on, but in this case it would have been morally wrong not to seek justice for those who committed such a heinous act.

In a similar way we cannot be expected to give and give and give without receiving something in return. Just as the terrorists abused their right to freedom in this country, so does the visitor abuse his privilege of staying by not contributing in some way. Both must be dealt with prudently, mercy plays a part, but if someone does not step up and take the action that needs taken, then those who seek to abuse the freedom we have in this country, and the generosity of others will continue to take and take and take until nothing remains to be taken. Should we always offer our undergarment too? Depending on the situation we must decide each time, always remaining aware that there are those who will take advantage of us if we let them. It is only in fighting back that we help the perpetrators understand how their actions have affected us, and this will lead them to an understanding of the respect that we must all have for one another.

Challenge

Life seems to go this way, that just when we think we are comfortable with where we are at, God throws us a curve that we never saw coming, He calls us out of ourselves from the depths of situations or discussions or relationships in which we may have never realized His presence...but He is there. My mom always enjoyed the song "From a Distance" whose lyrics say that God is watching us...from a distance, but she would always say that this cannot be true, because God lives inside of us, God sends His angels to surround, protect, and guide us. All these things I knew, and know, but they still have not clicked for me in my own personal faith life. I have sought them as I would something that I do not understand, but know that I have to know, and so give a half-hearted effort to working my mind around the concepts. But that is all they have ever been, concepts, this is real, this is the life of faith that we live. Angels do surround us, God truly is here, if we do not come to understand that in a more profound way, how can we expect ourselves to be able to bring others to believe? I tell you that I have not fully believed, nor do I fully yet, but by the grace of God I have realized my ignorance and now seek Him with my whole heart. Please, any of your comments on how to seek this life are welcome. Spiritual direction and prayer are two that I can offer, one I have not yet engaged in, and I have not devoted enough time and energy to the other. I hope this can be a forum in which we all share different ways to seek to live a life for Him. Because that is all that really matters.

Our lives are blessed...

Not but two days ago, I had one of the most incredible days of my life...I do not even know where to begin, but will choose the obvious fact that I did not have an apartment. So in the morning I called a man named John whom I had previously spoken with, and whose place I had visited, but he did not answer his phone. So I proceeded to cook omelets for my friend Ed, who was staying with me in my subleased apartment (only for ten days mind you) and they turned out excellent. Possibly the best I had ever made! After that I came to school and called a woman whose name I had gotten from a man named Flavio, who had turned me down for the offer on his apartment, but still recommended that I speak with this woman Stephanie about a job. I called her, and she set me up with an appointment for later on in the day. I went to mass with Ed then, at a beautiful Dominican church not two blocks from Hunter College where we were, and will take classes. Directly after mass he and I parted ways, I sat down to eat lunch, and then called John. I asked if the apartment was still available, he said yes, I asked if I could move in that night and he agreed to pick me up! After that I spoke with a homeless man, who has now become a friend of sorts, also named John and whom I hope to lunch with every day after mass. His story I will leave for another day...

Chase Bank just recently opened in Rockford and so I proceeded there and, aided by a woman of an incredible mix of efficiency and friendliness, I set up an account. Directly afterward I figured out the 7 train to get down to the Princeton Alumni Club to meet with Stephanie. Walking into the place, I look one way and see the Chrysler Building towering over the landscape, and to the other I see the beginning of that dazzling place they call Times Square. Unbelievable I know, but I truly tell you anything is possible in New York; let me rephrase that: anything can be found in New York, because truly anything is possible no matter where you are. A year ago, sitting in my peer minister apartment in Ames, Iowa, I never could have dreamed I would be where I find myself now. LIVE IT UP!!! While we have the chance and opportunity, for to those whom much has been given, much is expected.