Inspiring vs. Inspired

This question has long intrigued me, "Need someone be inspired in order to inspire?" It is interesting what inspires us sometimes. It can be something as simple as a photograph, or the passing words in a conversation we overheard between people we do not know. And yet, I believe that inspiration can be imparted very deliberately through our words and actions. I realized today that I set out on this journey not to prove anything to anyone, nor to fulfill some sort of route of passage in my life, nor even to "find myself" whatever that should be understood to mean. No I set out on this journey because this is something that I have always wanted to try, and yet therein always lay great fear for me as well. I remember a couple of days before we were set to leave on 15 September 2010, when I said that maybe we should wait and almost allowed the fear in my heart to stop me from fulfilling something I had long dreamt of doing. The fear stemmed from the inherent uncertainty that came with our approach to the journey. We had a few "safety nets" set into place, but one of the most challenging and yet most essential elements to the trip was that these had to be left behind for a time, and we had to see how we could stand up to the world in the most fundamental sense. I have my father to thank for pushing us out the door. Go! And so we went.

I remember those first couple of months, travelling across the United States and feeling like a lost vagabond with nowhere to go and no one to turn to. And yet, in every place we found people who were willing to help us, who even went out of their way to ensure that we were adequately provided for, even making sacrifices on their own account in order that we could continue chasing our dream. How can we repay such kindness? How can anyone be so kind in the first place? I believe this takes me back to the title. I think one of the most inspiring things in life is to discover for ourselves that anything is possible. It is one thing to talk about how a fear may be overcome, to logically address the steps that must be taken, but quite another to embrace the fear, without ever having conquered it, and to confront it in the happenings of daily life. This, I have learned, was the real challenge for me in what we did, and in having discovered that I can overcome it; that I can survive; that I need no longer be limited by fear; that is to be inspired.

Now, we are on our way home. As I have said to my brother often over the past several days, "There is no going back." We will never be the same after this journey that we have embarked upon together. My hope is that the inspiration wrought from this journey will translate into my becoming more and more the inspiring person that I hope to be. Life can be very dull unless we see the endless possibilities if we would just build up the courage to confront the fears and adversity in our lives. And sometimes all it takes is a little inspiration from someone else who has done just that in their own lives.

So run! Chase! Confront! Hope! Love! Live! We are the dreamers of dreams and the masters of our destiny. Let us not allow fear to keep us from becoming the people we have the potential to be. Live on, dream on, make your life extraordinary!

Obligation vs. Desire

My life began when I stopped doing what I thought I should do, and started doing what I wanted to. Life is too short to wander around seeking the approval or permission of others to do what you know you want in your heart. Granted, there is a level of discernment that is necessary in order to reach the point of being able to make a decision, however after we have determined that our hopes and dreams in no way infringe upon the rights of others, and that they truly do represent the desires of our hearts, then we must run to accomplish what it is we know in our hearts we must do. Only in this way can we find fulfillment, peace, hope, the strength to greet tomorrow. What do you want? A difficult question to be sure, but then again consider the times in life during which you have felt most alive, most rewarded, most at peace, most content. Contentedness breeds productivity, love, deeper relationships, hope, and the will to live and accomplish great things.

I thought for a while that a world trip would set me apart, would lend me some sort of notoriety or fame, and indeed, to a degree it has. However this is not what it is about for me. Life, for me, has never been about popularity, success, winning, or financial prosperity. Life, instead, is about relationships, is about taking what we have and sharing it with those that surround us, and deepening our understanding of life and the human experience. What do we think about? What are we meant to do? To what are each one of us called? How do we go about infusing meaning into this some time difficult undertaking that we call life?

I believe that it comes down to discerning those desires in ourselves, and following them to their end. And in fulfilling the desires that fill our hearts, we lend meaning and assurance to our lives. This is the way that I go about living. Today I seek to become the best possible version of myself by following the path written in my heart. Life is beautiful. Discover the particular beauty that lies in the very depths of your heart. And never forget to stand by what you want. Because unfortunately in a world dominated by individualism, no one else is going to freely give you your deepest desires. Live it, and make it your own!

If you're interested, there has been an article published in a Kent State University magazine called "The Burr" to which I contributed to author Kelley Stoklosa, some of my views and thoughts. Here is the link if you are interested in reading it, and I would love to hear your reactions as well.

http://issuu.com/KentWired/docs/burr_spring2011_final

All the best!

What's this life for?

First of all, please do not think that I am in any way suicidal, I am in New Zealand for goodness sake! However this question seems constantly to enter my mind. The deepness of the implications are very interesting. God ostensibly provides some answers, but then when I set down to analyzing and thinking about all of the implications of God and creation, and the Tradition that He has handed down to us through the Catholic Church, it all gets a bit muddled. Then for the moment, the only answers that I seem to be receiving to my myriad questions, amount to "You think too much," or "Don't over-analyze, it will lead you somewhere you do not want to be." However I believe that the strength of joy that I formerly felt and now at occasions feel for life stemmed from my very devotion to this God and His prescribed ways for living life. One day I discovered that I had strayed from the path as it were, and now I feel completely lost. It is as if the standards set are exclusive, and do not allow us even to forgive ourselves. In theory there is forgiveness available, but then again there have long been times when this forgiveness hinged on the whims of men, and not of God. What is this faith that we have been given? Why do I still feel it so strongly in spite of all of my doubts? Why can I not just cast myself into the first job, career, or vocation that presents itself? Why do I keep asking questions long after others would have resigned themselves to one solution or answer. What is life for?

Neither I, nor any one of us asked to be born into this world. And yet I have found myself wandering the land, now long and far, seeking the answers to how to live a good and fulfilling life. Distracting myself from reality have not proven answers for me. Nor has immersing myself in relationships, whether by choice or by chance. It seems that life is simply a muddled confusion for us all. There are clues, but no cut and dry solution to the mystery of life.

What are we here for? What good can we bring about upon this earth during the short time during which it has been ordained that we should roam it? What should any one of us seek for other than to make the most of the time that we have been given in the way that we individually see fit?

I desire something more, and yet despite my quest to find it, find myself uncertain of what that means. And so I find myself making promises that I cannot keep, and following roads that I know I may not want in my heart of hearts, but that are there before me and represent some way of avoiding the constance of thought and contemplation that ever plagues my mind and soul. Peace I suppose I desire, but patience must precede this peace. And as I recently learned the word "patience" is derived from the Latin "patiens" meaning "to suffer." Thus patience is lingusticially linked to suffering, and I find it to be no coincidence.

Thus I keep searching and asking questions; at this point at almost the farthest possible reaches from where I draw my roots. I thank God for the opportunity to be here, but also ask that He help clarify the path for us all, might reveal to us in our hearts what we might do, in order that more of us might lead lives on fire; might captivate the attention of our respective nations; and might tranform the face of the world into the future!

For this I hope and pray. For this I hope my life might serve.