22 January 2008

Life

Right now I think so often about the future, I wonder whether I am doing the right thing...I second guess every decision, and yet I suppose the more important point is that I make the decision at all. I know there are others out there with problems much more severe and complex than my own, and speaking with and attempting to console them often helps me to see that I am doing fine. However, as the adage goes..."From those to whom much has been given, much is expected." And yet this "much" manifests itself differently for each one of us who have made our decisions such that we have the freedom to do virtually anything. One of my very good friends works for a seed company that sends him to work in Puerto Rico for this portion of the year; another is on the verge of setting out on his own as a freelance photographer; still another works at her dream job with high school kids in a Jesuit school in Colorado; and another of my favorite stories, my friend the Marine and my friend his lovely wife prepare to be stationed in Hawaii! I still cannot believe that by the way...And here I am with all the gifts and skills in the world, with more interests than a hyperactive kid in a candy store, and I am unsure of what to do. I do believe that we need one another, and I believe this is why I am here right now, and I know the time will come for me to move on to the next step in life. I find it funny that I get this way every winter, as everything seems to slow down, and then by summertime I will have another three thousand plans to choose from. I guess I need a good friend and a good cigar, and all my nerves will settle down. I want to send out special thanks to Julie who inspired me to seek that which I love, today! Jules you are the best, and you are such a leader, following your own path to becoming the best version of yourself, even as you pass along advice and inspiration to others who search at the same time.

The Christian idea of love; your God with all your heart, mind, body, and soul; and your neighbor as yourself; only makes sense in practice. For to think about it logically it would seem fruitless and foolish to love and pray for your enemy, and any others who you may or may not like, or that may or may not like you; but in the end it does make sense. They may be there for you the next time you need a helping hand, or may give you the connection you need to continue to pursue your dreams. What good is it to make enemies when there are so many friends out there to be had? And it is precisely to these friends that I turn for help in my above-described dilemma, for they often know me better than I know myself, and can push me to my greatest potential! I am so grateful for all of you, and for my family as well, who has always been there through every trial and crazy turn along the way. But most of all I am, as all of us are, eternally endebted to our God and Father, Who gave us the opportunity to live this crazy life and suck from it every joy and sorrow, to His greater glory!

God you are so good. I turn to you too as a friend to aid me as to where You would have me go next. For you are my Creator, and I hope to lead my life as an example of your love, and ultimately to live with You in Paradise!